Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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