I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
