And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
