you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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