saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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