i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Everyone says I win the strip club
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So. Much. Porn.
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