If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
