don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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