I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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