please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
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My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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