Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
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Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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