He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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