I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
