The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
