Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
