I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
