Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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