Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize