Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize