Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
