Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
