Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
