half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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