you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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