i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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