Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize