and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
