i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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