Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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