What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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