the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
