he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
