PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
