you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
bring money and cleavage
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
