So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize