how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
