How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
