We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
