I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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