guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
