Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize