Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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