Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
