I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
