Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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