What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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