Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
