so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i need an iv and a liver transplant
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
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I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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