I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
