Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
