I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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