Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
