in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
