I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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