Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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