tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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