True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
They took my balls.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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