I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
