Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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