have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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