loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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